Wednesday, August 20, 2008

What You Should NEVER Say to Someone Whose Pet Has Died

Over the years we have received thousands of letters and phone calls from people who have lost a believed animal companion and are plunged into even deeper sadness by insensitive remarks and actions. We decided to ask readers of our Angel Animals Story of the Week newsletter what they thought should never be said to someone who is grieving over a pet's death.

Below are the thoughtless remarks followed by our readers' comments.

"It was only a dog/cat/rabbit/horse. . .Get over it!"

Bianca Rothschild wrote about this kind of remark: "A lifetime of devotion and supreme loyalty brushed aside and rudeness of the individual personified."

Debra Walker-Nipp: "Cleo was not just a dog. She was my true soul mate and gave her life to us. True devotion can't be replaced or found that easily."

"Why don't you just get another one?"

Kathy: "No way can you ever replace a special animal. Each one is unique. I truly believe God made them that way, as he did us humans."

"They are just stupid, dumb animals anyway."

Marla Johnson heard that comment about her deceased rabbit. She wrote, "I couldn't believe how insensitive of a remark that was because in my opinion animals are very evolved spiritual beings who are here on this planet to help humans become kinder, more loving, and compassionate people."

"You really didn't need all the health costs and food expenses of those animals."

A reader named Teresa responded to this remark by saying, "If I choose to spend my ENTIRE check on my babies, it's none of your business."

"At least it wasn't a person. Or, you could have lost a family member instead of an animal."

Jeanne Walker: "My animals are family members. I don't own them. They are part of my family in the truest sense of the word - nonjudgmental, loving, and forgiving.

We have listed resources here that can help you or family and friends as you cope with the highly estimated source of grief and sadness that occurs when a pet dies. We hope these resources help and encourage you to add comments with others you would recommend.

Saying Goodbye to Your Angel Animals
www.sayinggoodbyetoyourangelanimals.com

Interfaith Association of Animal Chaplains
www.AnimalChaplains.com, E-mail: AnimalClergy@aol.com

Everlife Memorials
www.EverlifeMemorials.com

The Animal Love and Loss Network (ALLN)
www.alln.org

The Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement, Inc. (APLB0)
www.aplb.org

Delta Society, The Pet Loss and Bereavement section
http://archive.deltasociety.org/AnimalsHealthPetLossHotline.htm

International Association of Pet Cemeteries (IAPC)
www.iaopc.com

Grief Healing
www.griefhealing.com

In Memory of Pets: Beyond Life's Gateway
www.in-memory-of-pets.com

Pet Loss Grief Support
www.petloss.com

Pet Loss Support Page
www.pet-loss.net

Rainbows Bridge
www.rainbowsbridge.com

Remember Your Pets
www.rememberourpets.com

There Is Eternal Life for Animals
www.eternalanimals.com
In Memory Of Pets
www.in-memory-of-pets.com

Animals in Heaven
www.ourchurch.com/member/w/w_lasalle
www.creatures.com/LaSalle.html

Pet Loss Support: Healing the Grief of Pet Loss DVD/Video
www.griefandlosshelpsongletter.com/indexpetlossdvd.htm

Classic Memorials, Inc.
Pet Loss & Pet Memorials Resources
http://www.everlifememorials.com/v/pet-loss.htm

Dogbunny Gazette
www.chinupchinook.com

Joyful Spirit
www.joyful-spirit.com

Mississauga Pet Loss Support
www.mississaugapets.com/petloss.html

Grief Healing
www.griefhealing.com

Pet Loss and Grief Support
www.creatures.com/PetLoss.html

If pet loss is something you are going through or continue to cope with, please accept our condolences. We know how much it hurts. We know there are people who understand. Take care of yourself by reaching out to them.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

The other I saw someone who had a paw prints memorial plaque. Have you ever seen these before? They are so neat. I think anyone who has had a pet pass on should look into getting one.