Showing posts with label pet loss. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pet loss. Show all posts

Sunday, April 12, 2009

The Spirit and Love Live On

At this time of year when thoughts go to renewal, rebirth, and life after death, we want to share a passage from our book on pet loss. Everyone who has a pet goes through this devastating experience at some time. But not everyone realizes that animals, like people, are so much more than physical bodies. They, too, are spiritual beings.

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Excerpted from SAYING GOODBYE TO YOUR ANGEL ANIMALS by Allen and Linda Anderson (New World Library 2007). Reprinted with permission. All rights reserved.

Following are many of the most frequently reported ways in which animals remind people that only the physical body leaves at death, and that the spirit and love live on. People report animals who, after death:

* Scratch or knock at the door
* Pad or make the sound of clicking claws along floors
* Press against the person's body with a definite feeling of weight
* Shake the bed as if jumping on or off it
* Purr, meow, bark, or snore audibly enough for more than one person
to hear
* Leave paw prints or food around food bowls
* Make a depression in the bed linens where they used to sleep
* Emit a burst of familiar scent in places that were previously
free of pet odor
* Drop a favorite toy, which has been put away or lost, in a spot
where it will be easily found
* Set off some kind of electrical charge that causes a clock alarm
to go off, lights to flicker, or the telephone to ring at the same
time that the death or burial occurred
* Appear as a glow of golden light or in a light-body so real that
the person tries unsuccessfully to touch it
* Lick or kiss the person's skin or tickle with whiskers
* Seem to appear in spirit as a sign or symbol of life after death,
such as a butterfly or rainbow, on a significant day or time.

***

While we did the research for this book, we went through our files and found stories and letters about people's after-death experiences with animals. All of the above examples actually happened to people. Some of them happened to us.

If you are or have been dealing with pet loss, we hope this gives you hope to know that as difficult as it is, life does literally go on.

Have you had an afterlife sense of a pet's presence?

Allen and Linda Anderson
Angel Animals Network
www.angelanimals.net

Note: To subscribe to the Angel Animals Story of the Week newsletter, send a blank email to angelanimals-on@mail-list.com.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Saying Goodbye to Your Angel Animals: Finding Comfort after Losing a Pet

Angel Animals Story of the Week
August 27, 2008
Visit us at www.angelanimals.net

Dear Friends of Angel Animals,

Welcome to a SPECIAL EDITION of the Angel Animals Story of the Week.

We are excited to be officially announcing the release of a new book that we hope will help you cope with the devastating sadness of pet loss. It is SAYING GOODBYE TO YOUR ANGEL ANIMALS: Finding Comfort after Losing a Pet.

Now more than ever, companion animals are considered members of the family, so when they die, the grief is heartbreaking with a deep sense of loss.

As authors of a series of books about human-animal companionship, we understand that special kind of grief, and in our new book we help guide those who are anticipating or coping with the loss of a pet. Through inspiring stories and practical advice, the book
shows readers that the bond of love between humans and their animals never dies.

With a sincere and personal approach, SAYING GOODBYE offers guidance on helping children grieve, honoring your religious beliefs, helping others know what to say or do to offer consolation, and planning a meaningful memorial ceremony or tribute.

The book includes three different types of memorial services that you can select sections from or use, as is, to honor your pet with family and friends. It is a perfect gift to give anyone whose beloved pet has passed away or been lost.

We have also established a NEW website to accompany the book, www.sayinggoodbyetoyourangelanimals.com There, we invite you to post memorials, photos, and videos and discuss pet loss topics.

Because we have received thousands of stories and letters from people who are brokenhearted over the loss of their cherished pets, we know how the heartbreak is compounded when others don't understand the depth and intensity of their grief. Pet loss can be underrated and trivialized by insensitive remarks and lack of awareness.

Marty Tousley, certified hospice bereavement counselor said after reading SAYING GOODBYE, "As a grief counselor who also specializes in pet loss, I've read dozens of books about coping with the loss of our beloved animal companions. This is one of the best, because it covers all the important aspects of this different kind of grief, including why we feel the loss of our pets so deeply, what we can expect in the grief that accompanies pet loss, and how we can memorialize our cherished friends. It carries my highest recommendation."

Here are some of book's sections (excerpted from the Table of Contents) to give you a taste of its scope:

*You Have Friends Who Understand
*Meditation: The Rainbow Bridge Reunion
*Organic Grieving
*What to Do with Regrets and Guilt
*Our Personal Beliefs about Animals, Souls, and Death
*Seeking Professional, Online, and Group Support
*Consoling Surviving Animals in a Multiple-pet Family
*Children and Pet Loss
*How to Handle a Disagreement with Your Religion's Beliefs
*Lasting Tributes to Your Animal Companion
*Together Again Memorial Service
*Communicating with Animals after Death
*Spiritual Plane Animal Advocates
*Dreams of Animals Who Have Died
*How Do You Know When You're Ready to Adopt Another Pet?
*Recommended Websites, Books, and Pet Loss Services

This week's Angel Animals Story of the Week is an excerpt from SAYING GOODBYE that offers a lit path through the sadness and depression phases of grief.

Email this newsletter in its entirety to your animal-loving friends and encourage them to sign up for our weekly publication. They will be joining a terrific community of thousands of like-minded people from people around the world.

We do not sell to or share our newsletter subscriber list with anyone.

Animal blessings,
Allen & Linda Anderson


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STORY OF THE WEEK


WHEN ANIMALS TELL YOU THEY ARE READY TO LEAVE
By Allen and Linda Anderson

Reprinted with permission from SAYING GOODBYE TO YOUR ANGEL ANIMALS, pp.16-18 (New World Library 2008, softcover, $13.95 retail, ISBN# 978-1-57731-626-8, 146 pages). All rights reserved.

Robert Frost wrote in a poem about loss, "I have been one acquainted with the night." Pet loss has acquainted many of us with the night. Your nights may be extending as you sleep a lot longer, or they may be torturous as you wrestle with insomnia.

You may be eating too much or too little. A sense of hopelessness and despair could be making you feel listless, anxious, fearful, or despondent. The rainbow's color blue may be washing over your life with overwhelming sadness.

Grieving over pet loss may be complicated by other losses you have endured, whether recently or in the past. Some people go through a series of losses simultaneously as chapters in their lives close in rapid succession.

Often depression deepens if the lost pet was a link to someone who has previously left your life through death, separation, or divorce. Now you are mourning multiple losses, and it's difficult to comprehend that the ocean behind this wave of grief comes from something else.

Losses are also complicated when the death was violent, sudden, or accidental. Images of the dying animal may linger in your mind, causing nightmares or even post-traumatic stress disorder. These kinds of losses will probably require that you seek professional help from a bereavement counselor or therapist.

Sometimes it helps to remember the signs that your animal companion must have sensed death was imminent and even that she welcomed it as a relief from suffering. You may have, without realizing it, asked your pet if this was the right time for her to die. The answer may have come in ways you didn't recognize then but that can comfort and lift you out of despair now.

Often after you ask the animal if he is ready to die, he will do something uncharacteristic as a way of trying to communicate with you. Sometimes an animal who has been very sick will rally enough to make eye contact, reach out a paw to touch you, or show affection to you in a way that undeniably says he is saying goodbye. The animal may appear to you in a dream and give an answer through imagery, such as walking away from you until he disappears.

Don Marx asked his Maine Coon cat, Kit-3, to give him a clear sign that a fatal disease had run its course and it was time for the cat to leave this world.

That night, after requesting an irrefutable sign, Don was surprised to find the cat walking toward him on his bed. For weeks, Kit-3 hadn't had the strength to jump on the bed. Don wrote, "Kit-3 stood staring down at me, lowered himself, and pressed his closed mouth against my lips for several seconds. Then he rested his head on my arm for a moment, and I kissed him again. He rose, made his way to the foot of the bed and onto the floor again. That, I knew, was the signal I had asked for. Kit-3 kissed me good-bye."

Your grief is natural and understandable. It is what it is. But you know in your heart that this delightful soul, who shared your deepest joys and sorrows, would want for you to find happiness again.


SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT:

"Meditation: Take a moment to remember signs that your animal companion gave to let you know the time of death was approaching."

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ANGEL ANIMALS QUOTES OF THE WEEK

What Experts Are Saying about SAYING GOODBYE TO YOUR ANGEL ANIMALS:

"Allen and Linda Anderson's book gives us permission to acknowledge the intense bond we have with our animal companions and the deep loss we can experience after their deaths. It provides helpful stories, exercises, and memorial services respecting a variety of beliefs. Infused with kindness, their work offers us help, hope, and a rainbow during the storm. I have learned from it and will celebrate and share it."
-- The Reverend Mary Piper, Episcopal priest and chaplain, cofounder of the pet loss support program at Heart of the Valley Humane Society in Bozeman, Montana

"This masterful and beautiful book is rich with wisdom, inspiration, and sound advice. I highly recommend this thoughtful, illuminating, and comforting book."
-- Diane Pomerance, PhD, creator and director of the Pet Grief Counseling Program, SPCA of Texas, and author of WHEN YOUR PET DIES

"As a veterinary medical correspondent and lifetime pet lover, I believe in both the power of pets and the power of stories to heal. This book. . .offers a wide range of healing activities, wise information, compassionate reflection, and practical help for honoring and memorializing the life of your pet."
-- Dr. Marty Becker, resident veterinarian on ABC's GOOD MORNING AMERICA and author of CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE PET LOVER'S SOUL

"Let me say this about SAYING GOODBYE TO YOUR ANGEL ANIMALS: I love it. I treasure it. The Andersons have left no question unposed, no conflict bypassed, no reflection unacknowledged. If you are facing or have faced the loss of a beloved animal friend, let this book be your companion and your comfort. There exists no better exploration of this landscape of loss."
-- Susan Chernak McElroy, author of ANIMALS AS TEACHERS AND HEALERS and WHY BUFFALO DANCE

"In this latest offering, the Andersons prove themselves to be the very angels and divine messengers of hope they write about in their Angel Animals series. SAYING GOODBYE TO YOUR ANGEL ANIMALS is fine reading for those who seek to better understand the agony of pet loss and priceless gift of compassion and love for anyone anticipating or coping with the loss of a cherished animal companion."
--Marty Tousley, certified hospice bereavement counselor specializing in pet loss and author of CHILDREN AND PET LOSS and THE FINAL FAREWELL

"Allen and Linda Anderson care about those who have experienced loss. SAYING GOODBYE TO YOUR ANGEL ANIMALS inspires and brings comfort to anyone who has lost a beloved animal companion. -
--Niki Behrikis Shanahan, author of THE RAINBOW BRIDGE: PET LOSS IS HEAVEN'S GAIN and THERE IS ETERNAL LIFE FOR ANIMALS

"Allen and Linda Anderson, clergy members and authors of ANGEL DOGS, offer ways to sort out the 'barrage of emotions' after loss. Among the seven chapters are 'Covered Bridges - Shelters from the Storms of Pet Loss,' 'Swinging Bridges - Rituals that Heal and Beliefs that Cause Pain,' and 'Memorial Bridges -Memorial Services for Angel Animals,' which begins with an epigraph from Dostoevsky's THE BROTHERS KARMAMZOV, 'Love all of God's creation. . .'"
--FOREWORD MAGAZINE, August 20, 2008

"SAYING GOODBYE TO YOUR ANGEL ANIMALS is meant to help you through the process of loss. Through various exercises and meditations, readers will come to grips with their sadness, anger, and guilt so that they can hold only the good memories to their heart."
--TCM REVIEWS, August 8, 2008

"The book is really fantastic. Not only is your writing style sincere and thoughtful, but the book also offers tons of practical advice to help people going through such a devastating loss. Your work is really great!
--Maura Halpern, http://humanemewsings.blogspot.com

"A very well-written book and I have already recommended it to several people who've written to me recently on the passing of their beloved cats."
--Pauline, editor, www.thedailymews.com

"I found much comfort in your book. Thanks so much for understanding how I feel!"
--Comment on Saying Goodbye, You Tube video,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CcgZWxx2Lug&feature=email

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ANNOUNCEMENTS - HOW TO PURCHASE SAYING GOODBYE AND OTHER ANGEL ANIMALS BOOKS

ANGEL ANIMALS ONLINE BOOKSTORE AUTOGRAPHED, discounted-price copies of SAYING GOODBYE TO YOUR ANGEL ANIMALS are available now at www.shop.angelanimals.net/main.sc

***

NEW WORLD LIBRARY OFFERS SAYING GOODBYE AND OTHER ANGEL ANIMALS BOOKS
Go to www.newworldlibrary.com to order this and other books by Allen and Linda Anderson. Our publisher also sells books by outstanding animal book authors such as Amelia Kinkade, Marta Williams, Susan Chernak McElroy, June Cotner, Linda Kohanov, Rev. Gary Kowalski, and many other best-selling authors.

***

SAYING GOODBYE is also available at online bookstores - Amazon.com, BN.com, Borders.com, and at regular bookstores. If it's not in stock, ask the store to order it.

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ANGEL ANIMALS BLOGS & FORUMS

Please visit any of the blogs and forums below to comment on past and current articles and stories. We look forward to reading your comments and stories. This is a great way to get to know other people's thoughts, experiences, and concerns about the angel animals who share their lives and to comment on "Angel Animals Story of the Week" items.

Visit the Angel Animals Network Forums at: www.angelanimals.net/forum.html
www.sayinggoodbyetoyourangelanimals.com

Become our friend at www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=711934289 and at www.twitter.com/angelanimals

Angel Animals Network (Allen & Linda Anderson Angel Animals Blog) Visit http://blog.angelanimals.net

Beliefnet.com (Allen & Linda Anderson Angel Pets Fan Club) Visit
http://community.beliefnet.com/index.php?page_id=1107&group_id=661";

Seattle Post-Intelligencer (Allen & Linda Anderson Angel Animals Reader Blog Visit http://blog.seattlepi.nwsource.com/angelanimals";

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ANGEL ANIMALS VIDEO PRESENTATIONS

We have produced a series of short videos about the work of Angel Animals. In the videos we share a bit about ourselves. We also present our message of the spiritual connection between animals and humans. Visit www.youtube.com/user/angelanimalsnetwork to view a variety of video by Angel Animals with Allen and Linda Anderson.

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BOOKS by Allen and Linda Anderson:

All of Allen and Linda's books are available at www.shop.angelanimals.net, other online or regular bookstores, some Costco stores, at many gift shops that sell animal books, and through www.newworldlibrary.com, which offers discounts for purchasing multiple books. ANGEL HORSES, ANGEL DOGS, and ANGEL CATS are also available through One Spirit Book Club.

SAYING GOODBYE TO YOUR ANGEL ANIMALS: Finding Comfort after Losing Your Pet, available now

ANGEL DOGS WITH A MISSION: Divine Messengers in Service to All Life (available for pre-order; released October 1, 2008)

ANGEL ANIMALS: Divine Messengers of Miracles

RESCUED: Saving Animals from Disaster www.rescuedsavinganimals.net Winner of the American Society of Journalists and Authors (ASJA) Outstanding Book Award.

ANGEL HORSES: Divine Messengers Hope

ANGEL DOGS: Divine Messengers of Love

RAINBOWS & BRIDGES: An Animal Companion Memorial Kit

ANGEL CATS: Divine Messengers of Comfort

GOD'S MESSENGERS: What Animals Teach Us about the Divine

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OTHER INFORMATION

The Angel Animals Network is devoted to collecting and disseminating original, true stories about the spiritual connection between people and animals. You can learn more about the Angel Animals at www.angelanimals.net. Visit our Angel Animals Online Shopping at www.shop.angelanimals.net.

If you send this newsletter to others (and we hope that you will), please don't change it in anyway and include the information above about the Angel Animals Network. Thank you.

This newsletter is sent to you by the Angel Animals Network. Copyright 2008, Allen and Linda Anderson, Angel Animals Network. All rights reserved. Nothing in this newsletter may be reproduced or published without the written permission of the individual authors and/or copyright owners. Angel Animals(r) is a registered trademark.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

What You Should NEVER Say to Someone Whose Pet Has Died

Over the years we have received thousands of letters and phone calls from people who have lost a believed animal companion and are plunged into even deeper sadness by insensitive remarks and actions. We decided to ask readers of our Angel Animals Story of the Week newsletter what they thought should never be said to someone who is grieving over a pet's death.

Below are the thoughtless remarks followed by our readers' comments.

"It was only a dog/cat/rabbit/horse. . .Get over it!"

Bianca Rothschild wrote about this kind of remark: "A lifetime of devotion and supreme loyalty brushed aside and rudeness of the individual personified."

Debra Walker-Nipp: "Cleo was not just a dog. She was my true soul mate and gave her life to us. True devotion can't be replaced or found that easily."

"Why don't you just get another one?"

Kathy: "No way can you ever replace a special animal. Each one is unique. I truly believe God made them that way, as he did us humans."

"They are just stupid, dumb animals anyway."

Marla Johnson heard that comment about her deceased rabbit. She wrote, "I couldn't believe how insensitive of a remark that was because in my opinion animals are very evolved spiritual beings who are here on this planet to help humans become kinder, more loving, and compassionate people."

"You really didn't need all the health costs and food expenses of those animals."

A reader named Teresa responded to this remark by saying, "If I choose to spend my ENTIRE check on my babies, it's none of your business."

"At least it wasn't a person. Or, you could have lost a family member instead of an animal."

Jeanne Walker: "My animals are family members. I don't own them. They are part of my family in the truest sense of the word - nonjudgmental, loving, and forgiving.

We have listed resources here that can help you or family and friends as you cope with the highly estimated source of grief and sadness that occurs when a pet dies. We hope these resources help and encourage you to add comments with others you would recommend.

Saying Goodbye to Your Angel Animals
www.sayinggoodbyetoyourangelanimals.com

Interfaith Association of Animal Chaplains
www.AnimalChaplains.com, E-mail: AnimalClergy@aol.com

Everlife Memorials
www.EverlifeMemorials.com

The Animal Love and Loss Network (ALLN)
www.alln.org

The Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement, Inc. (APLB0)
www.aplb.org

Delta Society, The Pet Loss and Bereavement section
http://archive.deltasociety.org/AnimalsHealthPetLossHotline.htm

International Association of Pet Cemeteries (IAPC)
www.iaopc.com

Grief Healing
www.griefhealing.com

In Memory of Pets: Beyond Life's Gateway
www.in-memory-of-pets.com

Pet Loss Grief Support
www.petloss.com

Pet Loss Support Page
www.pet-loss.net

Rainbows Bridge
www.rainbowsbridge.com

Remember Your Pets
www.rememberourpets.com

There Is Eternal Life for Animals
www.eternalanimals.com
In Memory Of Pets
www.in-memory-of-pets.com

Animals in Heaven
www.ourchurch.com/member/w/w_lasalle
www.creatures.com/LaSalle.html

Pet Loss Support: Healing the Grief of Pet Loss DVD/Video
www.griefandlosshelpsongletter.com/indexpetlossdvd.htm

Classic Memorials, Inc.
Pet Loss & Pet Memorials Resources
http://www.everlifememorials.com/v/pet-loss.htm

Dogbunny Gazette
www.chinupchinook.com

Joyful Spirit
www.joyful-spirit.com

Mississauga Pet Loss Support
www.mississaugapets.com/petloss.html

Grief Healing
www.griefhealing.com

Pet Loss and Grief Support
www.creatures.com/PetLoss.html

If pet loss is something you are going through or continue to cope with, please accept our condolences. We know how much it hurts. We know there are people who understand. Take care of yourself by reaching out to them.

Friday, July 18, 2008

The Act of Surrender

The subject of how to know when an animal is ready to leave came up last week. As we talked with a distraught person who had to face that most painful decision, we told her something that we want to share with you.

We've noticed over these many years (since 1996) of hearing people's stories that there is an essential element to making the tough choices. It can be summed up in one word - surrender.

Surrender with its twin sister, trust, are undoubtedly the hardest things you'll ever do. This means accepting that you will know when it's time to let go of your beloved pet and that you'll do the right thing.

We mentioned to our friend that we'd seen the act of surrender have various outcomes.

For some people, when they truly released the situation to divine guidance, they had a peaceful knowingness that the animal needed to be released from a debilitated physical body. This usually was accompanied by some type of outer confirmation from the pet, the veterinarian, or from life.

Making the true and selfless act of surrender allows the animal to choose whether to stay or go. At times, the pet who seems about to die, instead, rallies and recovers. Perhaps because the animal has been holding on to life out of love for a human, this effort has taken energy away from his or her own recovery. Now the pet can focus on
getting well.

In the case our friend's beloved pet decided to live. This has been a journey with a happy ending. But it did take her act of surrender. She had to say to her animal friend, "It's your choice. Don't stay only for me."

What have your experiences been with surrendering and accepting whatever outcome is truly best for the animal?